You ever start to like someone… everything is going great. Going on dates, seeing each other more and more. Then suddenly you begin to start pushing them away and every day you choose an argument or you point out flaws in them not realising it’s for no reason at all other than your own disbelief…
This can stem from feelings of low self-worth, insecurity, and not trusting that they actually have good intensions back. This might be down to a bad experience in a past relationship. This may be with a trust issue with a family member or someone that broke your trust in the past and yes I know its so difficult to overcome, but hear me out…
It’s okay to like someone and have a vulnerable sector of your life. It’s scary I know, but it’s okay. It’s okay to let go of your past. Not everyone is like your past relationship – I REPEAT. Someone is out there for you and that person is there to make you happy, but push everything away that’s good for you, and YOU will miss out on the good ones, it wasn’t them, it was you, and that’s the last thing we want right? If they are making you happy, don’t ruin that, be cautious and alert yes, but don’t push away every single good thing that comes your way – I hate to say it but let me be real with you now, the issue is probably you. You need to figure out why your walls are there and what they are. If you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be hard not to go into every situation with a negative attitude and being scared to get hurt again. Not everyones minor mistakes are aimed at you at all. Build that trust in this new relationship and slowly let down your guard IF of course you have an inkling they’re genuine and do make you happy. You need to live in the moment to overcome your trust issues – we’ve all been there I promise you.
You don’t need to know EXACTLY what you want, but you do need to know the DIRECTION you’re going because push and pull is unhealthy for you and for them.
Just because you’ve had a bad experience with someone else, does not mean it is going to happen again. Be realistic, you don’t know what’s going to happen. Listen to them and more importantly trust what’s happening at the moment. It’s okay to talk to this person and tell them that you’re scared, you never know they might be in the same position as you. It’s okay to talk about your fears with each other. Once this is out the way you can just work on it together.
We all want good people in our life and you can’t completely avoid getting hurt, so enjoy what you may have with this person and have fun! This person may be the person you have been waiting for. Just make a huge effort in trusting this person, experience new things and continue to do grow together! After all, our biggest regrets are what we DON’T take the risk to do, right? Embrace the mistakes life becomes a beautiful journey, not a bitter one.
You like this person, let your guards down and trust where life is taking you at this present time. And just remember… ‘Everything happens for a reason’.
At the end of the day what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and there are some things we can’t avoid in life – like getting hurt if someone else does wrong by you or changes their feeling towards you, but there is NOTHING we can do about it. If it feels right now then go and get it now. If you feel the risk is worth taking then take it, but DON’T blame yourself if it doesn’t go exactly how you planned because that’s not a reflection on you… it just wasn’t meant to be.
Insecurities can make us toxic, and our huge protective wall is only going to push them away, so drop it a little, think how they might feel when you start to believe in them more. It’s not nice for anyone to feel doubted by anyone no matter how big the fear is in our minds, guys, as well as girls, do your part.
And anyway, if you do end up, unfortunately, getting hurt, guess what?! You’ve been hurt before, you came out stronger, it made you who you are today! Every experience is a chance to learn and grow. Some come out bitter but some come out better – be the latter. And there is nothing to stop you coming out of this wiser and stronger whether you’re together or not. Follow your heart, stay alert with your head, protect your soul respectfully and live in the moment.
Your relationship isn’t a business plan – ride it. With love, Becks x’